Supporting a Survivor of Sexual Assault or Abuse
By Sean Culpepper LPC/S MAMFT/MACE
In times of deep pain and vulnerability, the presence of a compassionate and caring friend can make a profound difference. Supporting a survivor of sexual assault or abuse requires gentleness, empathy, and respect for their experience and healing journey. At Arkansas Baptist Children & Family Ministries (ABCFM), we believe every person deserves to be met with Christ-like compassion in their darkest moments.
Here are 11 gentle, affirming ways you can support a survivor:
1. Listen with Care.
Give your full attention. Let them speak freely without interruptions. Avoid asking questions that may feel invasive. Focus on their words and feelings.
“I'm here with you.” “I'm listening, and I want to understand.”
2. Believe Them.
It takes great courage to share an experience like this. Let them know you believe them.
“Thank you for trusting me. I believe you.” “I'm so sorry this happened to you. It’s not your fault.”
3. Reassure Them It’s Not Their Fault.
Survivors often feel guilt or shame. Gently remind them that they are not to blame.
“You didn’t cause this. Someone else made a terrible choice.”
4. Support Their Choices.
Help them feel empowered by supporting their decisions. Offer help, but never pressure them.
“I trust you to do what feels right for you. I'm here to support you.”
5. Ask Before Hugging or Touching.
Physical touch can feel overwhelming. Always ask first.
“Would it be okay if I gave you a hug?”
6. Use Their Words.
Let the survivor describe their experience in their own words. Avoid labeling it differently than they do.
7. Respect Their Privacy.
Keep what they share with you confidential unless someone’s safety is at risk.
8. Respect Their Timing.
There is no deadline for disclosing trauma. If they tell you days or years later, be just as supportive.
“Thank you for sharing this. I’m here for you now.”
9. Share Resources Gently.
Ask if they would like support in finding a therapist, hotline, or advocacy center.
“Would it be helpful if I looked into some options with you?”
10. Know Your Limits.
You can be a caring friend, but you don’t have to do it all alone. Suggesting professional help is sometimes the kindest thing you can do.
“You deserve all the support you need. I wonder if a counselor or advocate might be helpful too. I’m happy to help you get connected.”
11. Use Empathy.
Reflect their feelings to show you are truly hearing them.
“It sounds like you’re feeling...” “From what you're saying, I can tell this has been incredibly painful.”
Remember:
Just by being there, by believing them, and by treating them with kindness, you are offering something truly healing. Your compassion matters.
If you or someone you know needs support, our faith-based counseling services are here to help. Learn more about our Christ-centered counseling ministry here.
Together we can be vessels of God’s comfort and love.
#faithbasedcounseling #Christcenteredsupport #Christianfamilyservices #ABCFM #traumainformedcare #healingthroughfaith